I just heard that Jane Lynch who plays Sue Sylvester in the hit show “Glee” wrote a fabulous new memoir. To kick off her prose, she wrote a letter to her 20-year-old self. What a phenomenal concept! What if we all could choose a point in time of our lives when we were our most ignorant and vulnerable selves, and offer some words of wisdom, with hindsight on our side? I plan to explore this idea further in the book I am writing. In the meantime, here are some teasers that may or may not make the cut:
Right about now, you are living in Egypt with your family, are boy-crazed, and are wondering what Junior High will be like when you move back to the States next year. I am now 42, married with three kids, and I’ve got some good news and some bad news to share with you:
The good news
- You will be thrilled because the days of going to a shoe store in vain will be behind you. There will finally be a trend away from tennis shoes, flats, and pumps in the early 1990’s. Ankle boots that can support your unique feet will actually become fashionable!
- You will receive a lot of great necklaces for your Bat Mitzvah.
- You are incredibly fortunate to have been blessed with clear skin.
- No more waiting for letters to come from friends and loved ones. You will be able to communicate within seconds. Keyboards will still be relevant and necessary. You will become the fastest two-fingered typist… ever.
- Your good metabolism will allow you to fit well into your Jordache jeans in High School.
- Just like your childhood friends, your adult friends will continue to treat you like everyone else, never focusing on your physical difference.
The bad news
- Strappy sandals are still in and don’t expect that Jimmy Choo or Christian Louboutin will follow the shoe-boot trend.
- Jewelry clasps will stay small.
- Your clear skin will lead you to a lifetime obsession with expensive facials and face creams.
- After e-mail comes thumb-centered texting.
- In college, the “freshman 10” is a myth. It is actually the freshman 15.
- Strangers will to continue to judge you and assume you can’t do things, no matter how old you get.
Before I conclude, let me offer a few final nuggets: Be sure to develop the ability to laugh at yourself, no matter the situation. Also, don’t forget that the man that will want to marry you will be the guy you never chased. Finally, remember the following expression, “What You Think of Me is None of My Business.” It will serve you well.